It is rare, but every once in a while all the employees at the paragraph factory are pulled together for a company-wide meeting.
Here we were to learn about the future of our company and about the other company that owns us. I'm sure any person with the brains equeal to that of an avacado could figure out where I work or what I do, but My Attorney has advised me not to mention the name of my company or the name of the boss who was talking at said meeting.
The following quotes, though, are true and related to how we in our industry are going to fare in 2007.
"Working for us is like being trapped in a mine shaft."
"We need to be as concered about reader penetration as McDonald's is concered about hamburger penetration."
"We only have a few years to survive. But if we hold our breaths long enough, we will be rescued."
"We are not a buscuit company."
"I am not above eating the first person who dies in the mine shaft."
"We have to trust in the inter-webs."
"All I really care about is having a warm body every once in a while."
"Quilts will save us from the nuclear winter that is about to come."
"We are not going to lay off anyone, but if you quit we will not replace you. How's that for job security?"