Monday, August 20, 2007

Oral fixins

There is no way to not make this sound sexual. I will have to jsut grit and bear it..but then again, that is what got me in trouble in the first place.

Had i listened to my parents, doctors, peers - everyone - then I would not necessarily bein this mess with a jaw wired shut and enough muscle relaxers to kill a small pony.

You see, I have an oral fixation.

I will stick jsut about anything in my mouth to chew on.

Pens
Pencils
Highlighter
Paper clips
Id badges
Keys
Headphone wires
Legos
Notebooks
Phones wires
Business cards

...and these are just the things sitting on my desk that I know, at one point or another, had passed my lips and been chewed on like I was a teething puppy. It is an oral fixation that rivals that of a toddler.

Hell, I had a pacifier until i was 7 year old.

I smokeds in high school and into my freshman year college, but I did it so much that it ended up making me sick. Smoking was less about inhaling the tabacco and more about simply having something that tasted good sit between my lips and heat my teeth as I would sit, walk, work or anything really.

But now, my mandible has been put on the Disabled List.

As part of this oral fixation I will gnaw on my own lips and tongue - see previous posts about me piercing my own tongue in my sleep. I will clench my jaw when stressed and grind my teeth while I sleep.

Over the year this is apprenyly not healthy for both the muscles in your face nor the teeth in your head.

In fact, in a fit of grinding and gnashing I have actualy dislocated my jaw and pulled a severl important muscle that facilitates the chewing motion in your digestive process.

TMJ syndrome it is called. When the muscles in your jaw - the important once we talked about earlier - seize up and essentially fall apart. They quit working. Give up. take the ball and go home.

How do you survive this loss of motion and everloving pain? Pain killers and a new wire that keeps the jaw in place long enough that, hopefully, the muscle will grow back and allow me to eat solid food again.

Chances, according to my doctor, are good, but not certian. The jaw is a tricky bitch that when scorned comes back only when it wants to. It cannot be coaxed by mere drugs and sweet nothing.

So, here I sit, mouth guarded and wired at work. Nothing in my mouth to help pass the time and certianly nothing in my head to make this easier. Thanlk god for the drugs in my stomach to make me clam.

mumbled/but not read

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