Thursday, November 08, 2007

Running from daylight

Offers and disappointment have followed me this month to an almost ludicrous degree.

I thought getting back to school was going to be the answer. I thought heading back into the classrooms and book stacks that I just came clattering from a few years ago was where I could find what I wanted/needed to do.

"Are you going back to school because you think you will honestly learn something new or because it is comfortable," she said.

Moms are powerful like that.

I don't think I will ever discount school, but right now I think there is something else I should be doing. Something else that needs to be done before we get back to the books.

I really fucked it up the first time around - I think that will haunt me for a while. No need to go back into that mess.

But now what?

The decisions keep coming and the possibilities are countless. It really is just a matter of doing it.

"Have you bought the ticket yet?" the text message said. "I have," I quipped back, but I am terrified of the ride."

I don't think will change any time soon - not yet anyway. But until then we will keep running from that sunrise that is supposed to take me away to whatever magic land that holds my riches, fame and happiness we all dreamed about when we were young.

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