Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy Fourth of July, idiots.

It's a day of patriotism. A day of remembering our glorious history. A day to blow off your pinky and middle finger.

If the Fourth of July does nothing else for this country it at leasts allows those tired, wretched and poor huddled masses a chance to drunkenly blow up something in celebration of this country.

Northeast for the last two days have been a clusterfuck as folks started celebrating — or shooting — early

Now, don't think for a second that I am going to go on some sanctimonious tirade about how much fireworks are dangerous or need to be stopped. I was at the front lines in the past with a roman candle in one hand and bottle rockets in the other as my cousins and I would run around in our own mock war of sparkling green and blue streaking though the air.

Those were the good old days; When part of celebrating the birth of this nation was showing off the scars you had gotten when your brother launched a parachute right at your face.

I leave you today with a little inspirational music to help you as you light that next firecracker aimed at your mother. As with anything else on this day, play it loud and 'ooo' and 'ahhh' along.

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