To: Director, Ministry of Gonzo - Kansas City
From: Department of Security and enforcement
Re: Invasion of the Female persuasion!
First there were hair ties on the desk in May. A toothbrush on the sink. Then a pouf and shampoo left in the bathroom in June. Still, we were skeptical.
On-site officials have now come back with this proof, Director.
No, Ministry staff has not suddenly taken up cross dressing. Those high-heeled shoes and jewelry accessories in the closet are not the latest trend here in these deep downtown gallows.
Sir, we have reason to believe a Woman has moved into the Kansas City Ministry. And from the looks of it, she is here to stay.
Her continued occupation of this space, thus far, has no "time line" or "goals horizon" in the near future. Informants tell us she has been plotting this invasion for some time. Her intentions are not fully known and we know even less of her methods — although we suspect they are not necessarily hostile unless provoked.
Along with occupation of the Closet Providence we are getting sketchy reports from the Bathroom and Living Room fronts of similar "woman-like" paraphernalia being seen.
We have sent in our best agent to survey the situation and gather as much information as possible from the aforementioned Woman, aka: Girlfriend. We will keep you up to date as information becomes available.