Friday, August 29, 2008

Round-ups blow

It's been a crazy couple of days and my brain has not been in the right place to dance like a fool for you fuck-bags.*

So, I offer you a round up of some of the things from this week's Reader:
I caught the Obama speech this evening and all I could think was... zzzzzzzz....

Also, McCain hates puppies...and rainbows.

Republicans are now terrified of hurricanes with names that sound like that transvestite friend you know from college...

In the unending pursuit to convince me to head to The Empire State, I got this dropped in my inbox today.

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The funeral for my grandfather this week turned out to actually be an interesting event. I happened to run into a relative that I, for some reason, thought had died a few years ago.

Back in the old divorce days of the 90's, my Dad's side of the family also went through some rough split ups (read: crazy aunt left cool uncle). This effectively cut us off from the one relative on that side of the family that had quite the personality.

The whole family changed after that. We never heard from the Cool Uncle or how his life was going until a few years ago we hear he contracted terminal cancer. We brought it up once at a family function and someone said death was looming as the cancer had gotten worse.

That, again, was several years ago.

When someone tells you a favorite relative has Terminal Cancer and then never speaks about the person again, you assume the worst.

So it was a shocking revelation to see this man walk into the funeral looking like the only thing wrong with him was his hideous tan suit he chose for the occasion.

"Hey, long time no see, man. So where is the bar?" is how he re-introduced himself.
"I thought you died," I said, fucking conventional wisdom and social graces as I stared at him.
"Yeah, almost. Eh, what can you do? So, how have you been?"

Sonofabitch.
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* Fuck-bags has become the new term 'round these parts. Seems to hit people with a double wammy of insult. Little too close to Funbags, a great term in and of itself and, of course, you get to shout Fuck each time.

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