Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Race is on.
My brothers and I are hyper competitive. Everything from walking up the stairs to eating a meal becomes a race to the finish...
It seemed natural that the three of us should be invited to run the Hotdog Derby at Kauffman Stadium. The set up is simple; Ketchup, Mustard and Relish covered hotdogs race around the stadium to prove which condiment is the best through an old fashioned footrace.
But the Royals seem determined to deny us this valid place in history (or where ever the record is kept on these game-to-game competitions). They claim "for safety reasons" that we are not allowed to run the race.
I even made a full-fledged marketing pitch to the Deaprtment of Meat Races that included advertising and group ticket sales of at least a 100 tickets (we'd freaking double the attendance of a given night). But they said no.
I am calling Bullshit KC Royals.
You don't know what you are missing.
Hell, we have an aspiring architect, division one basketball player and the author of this fine news outlet. Who the hell would pass up an opportunity to have us grace their turf and run like mad fools in hotdog costumes? ... The Royals, that's who.
Well, this has not put a stop to my plans to run the race and prove to the younger bros who is the best when it comes to running around in a hotdog costume ... these are important things to know, damnit.
KC Royals, I'm waiting for your phone call once you realize the egregious error you made today.
I trust your decision making skills are not this terrible in other areas of your business as they are in your hotdog race department.