TO: The Gonzo Nation
FROM: Director of External Affairs and Booze Acquisition
INRE: New offices and homecomings.
The Old Crow does not last long when left unattended in the newest House of the Rising Sun. Yes, my eclectic electorate, we are gathered here today to commemorate the opening of the newest office in the Temple of Gonzo's widening network of washouts.
Break out the bunting and the 3-foot-long scissors as we christen the new Waldo Neighborhood HQ.At dawn I will be smashing a bottle of the finest Andre's Champagne against the side of this behemoth house in preparation to send her to sea to fight off the hoards of enemies - both real and imagined. Sometimes the imagined ones are worse.
From our new Waldo HQ we can stretch our legs and demanded the waitress bring us another round.
Along with the physical relocation, the ToG HQ is also welcoming back our Chief Deep Thoughtologist and Curator of Gin Libations to the ranks. It's been a while since we have gotten the chance to do some serious 3 a.m. drinking with accelerated mind exercises, but that is a story we will leave to our legal offices to tell.
Today, though, is for greeting the new neighborhood and making a good first impression - presumably by firing a cannon packed with figs and cookies declaring our arrival...
Today is for eating fatted meats on the grill and taking an evening constitution around the palatial gardens and grounds, which we plan on keeping trimmed and pristine through a series of controlled burns...
Today is about celebrating new beginnings with enough wine and soaring moon beams that even Hedonismbot would be proud.
If the heat has not yet melted your pickled brains yet, then scrape yourself off the pavement and come take a tour of our Living Room, which features windows.
Sensing the excitement from across the globe, our Correspondent from the Far East will be making his way home to the Temple of Gonzo HQ on Sept. 17 - where I am sure he will give the place a white glove inspection and then soil our fine carpets with his Corona... the bastard...
The details of that Homecoming and your invitation will arrive via and armed courier swinging wildly from tree to tree on a zipline..
- 30 -
p.s. Send more fruit.